You can always count on England

So, 5 games into the World Cup, and we have had 4 games that were either very exciting, very interesting, very pleasing on the eye, or all of these. We have also had 1 complete shitefest. Trust England to spoil things.

Did anyone else think that this afternoon's 90 mins felt like 3 hours? Of course, in over-analysing England's performance, the TV boys managed to completely gloss over the truth about the match - it was crap. Why can't they just agree on that and be done with it? Yes, yes dodgy substitutions, didn't really create any chances, front two ineffectual, blah blah...SHUT UP! Now, forget that it's England, take another look, and try and be objective. What's that? A load of shite? Hurrah, well done, the penny's dropped. That's all it was, a coma-inducing, directionless clogfest between two teams that never came to terms with each other's game, or the conditions. It would be wrong to be too critical of England's performance, after all it takes two loads of shite to make a shitefest. England should be grateful that they got a win, that they came up against the poorest team in the competition so far, and that a mad, attention-seeking referee didn't do them any serious damage. If there is one justified criticism that could be made of England, it would be the naive way they went bombing around after the ball like kids in the under 14's cup final in 100 degree heat. Surprise, surprise after 20 mins they were knackered, and never really recovered. Alan Shearer's assessment of this tactic at half-time? "It's great to see England playing such a high tempo game, closing down the space". What, so when playing in sauna-like conditions, having strikers charging around after full-backs who are deep inside their own half is a good idea? Bollocks, they should have conserved energy, and they're lucky they weren't made to pay for it in the 2nd half. Now let's move on. We know that England can play better than that; and when the circumstances allow for it, they will.

As for us fans, we should be grateful that there were two other games today, and in each of them both teams got much more into the spirit of things. I can imagine so many people examining their wallcharts today and selecting the game sandwiched between England and the Argentina-Ivory Coast match as an opportunity to return to normal life for a couple of hours. 'Sweden v Trinidad & Tobago, oh that'll be routine stuff for the Swedes, I'll give that a miss'. Oh ye World Cup amateurs, will you never learn? T&T overcame the worst refereeing decision so far (and I include those made by the idiot from the England game) to get a draw they fully deserved... Hang on, before I go on I must dwell on the sending off for a moment - Gareth Southgate and Robbie Earle: "I think the referee got that just about right". Ha ha ha! ITV strike again, bless them, aren't they lovely? The lesser known John actually made a perfectly good tackle, hard but fair, and was given a second yellow card because the referee construed it as 'dangerous'. Well every bloody tackle has the potential to be dangerous doesn't it? Fair tackles have been known to break legs after all. The point is he got the ball, and as far as I know, FIFA do still allow that for the time being. In any case, 10 men or 11, hanging on for a draw was a pretty heroic effort. In fact 'hanging on' is probably a bit unfair; whilst big Shaka had a stormer, the T&T rearguard were well drilled, and coped comfortably for the most part.

The 0-0 was undoubtedly a calamitous result for the Swedes, but it's actually difficult to see where they went wrong. They dominated possession, they passed accurately and incisively, they got behind the T&T back line on numerous occasions, and the front two looked lively and creative. In fact, Ibrahimovic looked every bit the class act he is for most of the game. However, despite all these positives, they never really managed to create a clearcut chance. Quite baffling really, they'll probably just put it down to one of those days. And just a mad thought - seeing as they played half the match with ten, and actually came closest to scoring, through Glen's thunderbolt that hit the bar, T&T might actually think themselves a bit unlucky. Ha!

Only in the World Cup. You have to love it. All of it.

Thoughts on Argentina shall be banked till the morning. See you then.