What might have been...

I'm racking my brains trying to think of something that hasn't happened in the World Cup this weekend. A godlike display of footballing flawlessness? Check. Unpredictable results? Check. Kamikaze football, with all thoughts of defence abandoned? Check. Multi red card thuggery contest? Check. Hapless idiot scoring hilarious own goal? Check. Footballing establishment embarrassed by spirited underdog? Check. The best crowd of insanely noisy fans ever? Check. Some dull shite thrown in for good measure? Check.

It's been great. A World Cup weekend to remember. But it could have been so much better. I can't quite put my finger on exactly what it is, but there's something about Brazil that I really can't stand. I mean I hate all the hype, and the tacky monatges of clips of Pele we've seen a million times before, played with some predictable Samba music in the background. I hate the fact that we only ever see Ronaldinho doing keepy-uppies, when just about every player probably does that stuff in training now and again. Yet all this is not the Brazilians' fault. They can't help it if the idiots providing us with our TV coverage start drooling at the sight of a yellow shirt. But there's still something about them that I can't stick, and it causes me to irrationally crave a Brazilian defeat every time they play. It was summed up today when Brazil scored their decisive, and undeserved, second goal against Australia. Robinho's shot hit the post, and fell straight to substitute Fred, who miscontrolled the ball into the net. The celebrations that followed were the type you would expect from Angola if they actually won the World Cup; completely over the top considering the following:
A: It was a crap goal
B: It was against the run of play, and they should have felt relieved rather than overjoyed
C: Brazil are meant to be gods of the game, and should not have been struggling to beat Australia. Didn't they feel just a little bit humbled?
To watch them all leaping on top of each other, you get the impression Brazil have no concept of when they have played poorly. Either that or they believe their own press and actually imagine that the whole world does love them unconditionally, and therefore that a carnival was being organised in celebration of them flukeing a goal, and scraping a win.

Australia could have made this one of the World Cup's greatest days. This Brazil team was just asking to be humiliated, Ronaldo was allowed to stand still for an hour for the second game in a row, Ronaldinho was too easy to mark, and their goalkeeper performed like the clown that he is. If it were not for the outstanding Ze Roberto covering about four different positions, they would surely have crumbled. Fortunately for Brazil however, the Aussies were in a very charitable mood; Bresciano declining to shoot when clean through, and Kewell putting the ball into orbit rather than tapping into an empty net. A glorious chance to become legends missed by Australia, and the egos of Brazil allowed to wander around unbruised for a little longer. Not too much longer, I hope. Look, if at any stage they live up to their billing, Brazil will get their due amount of credit in this blog. But only when it's deserved.

Not as lucky as the egos of Brazil were those of the only team more overrated than them in the tournament, the French. I have already made known my thoughts on France, I thought they would struggle, and struggle they did. However, I was getting ready to eat some humble pie, as early in the game France's veteran superstars looked like they might just be about to roll back the years. The early goal they scored was more than a little on the lucky side, as Wiltord's poor shot ricocheted off a defender straight into Henry's path, but the goal was merited by France's impressive opening to the game. Was this to be a French renaissance? South Korea looked good candidates for a spanking, bizarrely one-dimensional in attack, whacking lots of long balls up towards their tiny forwards, who had Gallas and Thuram for company. Only one outcome there. France would surely take this opportunity to remind us how they earned their reputation by whacking four or five right? Nah. Don't be silly. Why bother to work hard, win well, and recover the respect of everybody when you can slope around like a bunch of lazy bastards and win 1-0? Slight flaw in the plan I'm afraid lads. South Korea may not have had many ideas, but giving up is not in their vocabulary. It's an accepted rule in football that no matter how unlikely it may look, you will always get at least one great chance to score in every match. The Koreans duly took theirs thanks to a wicked cross, and communication problems between defenders and goalkeeper. The goal was deserved not so much by South Korea's players, who looked a shadow of the energy fuelled force of 2002, nor by their manager Dick Advocaat, as the players showed little evidence of having taken into the game a tactical masterplan. The goal, and the point, was the least that was due to South Korea's 12th man. Anyone turning on their TV midway through the game would have been forgiven for believing they'd walked in on a belter, such was the constant din being made by the bass drums, and high-pitched vocals of the indefatigable South Korean support. Undoubtedly the best fans in the world, and proving that they can replicate the atmosphere generated at home in 2002, when playing thousands of miles away. No one can begrudge them a place in the knockout stage, and thanks to the reliability of an appalling French attitude to the game, we may well see just that.

The underdogs are finally beginning to get some rewards for consistently competing well with their more illustrious opponents, and it's much to the benefit of the tournament. Just imagine how good this day, this weekend would have been, if only... aah, it would have been perfect.

Australia, what are you like?!